Teh Media is Da Bomb!

[Update 2/21: Any question as to why I included “Dean” Broder  in this parade of the wankers, can be dispelled by reading Glenn Greenwald’s two excellent recent posts on Broder and his role in propping up the administration. Here and especially here.]

Watching the piteous national political media at play in so many different fields of the Lord this past week (bloggers, planes, leaks, and my fave: Gosh, there was corruption early in the occupation of Iraq! Why weren’t we told?) brought to mind a somewhat tangential (but apocalyptic!) diary I had posted at DailyKos a few months back.

 The Four Postmen of the Apocalypse

First, after Grantland Rice ( the “Dean of American Sportswriters”, back when being the Dean meant having a clue.)

Outlined against the troubles of a nation, the Four Writers wrote again. In Internet lore they are known as arrogance, pomposity, cluelessness and idiocy. These are only aliases. Their real names are: Broder, Woodward, Howell and Hiatt. They formed the crest of the cyclone before which the reputation of the Washington Post was swept over the precipice these past ten years as a million readers peered at the bewildering panorama spread out on their breakfast tables and computer screens.

And thence on to more Ancient Sources

9. [Broder] And I saw when the rabid lamb opened one of the links, and I heard, as it were the sound of wankery, one of the four courtiers saying, Come and read.

10. And I read, and beheld two fatuous quotes: and he that spoke them knew not his hypocrisy; and many spots on Sunday morning television were given unto him: and he went forth being arrogant, and to show all that he well and truly was a dick.

11.[Woodward] And when he had opened the second link, I heard the second courtier say, Come and read.

12. And there I read another work of stenography: and power was given to him that wrote therein to transcribe the thoughts of the mighty, and that they should flatter one another: and there was given unto him great riches for his efforts.

 13.[Howell] And after she had someone help her open the third link, I heard the third courtier say, Come and read. And I read, and lo, she that wrote it had a pair of balances in her hand.

14. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four courtiers say, A measure of column space for a Democrat, and three measures of column space for a Republican; unless the news is bad and then the measures shall be reversed; and see that thou hurt not the status quo.

15.[Hiatt] And when he had opened the fourth link, I heard the voice of the fourth courtier say, Come and read.

16. And I read, and beheld a mass of distortions and lies: and his name that wrote it was Idiocy, and The wingnuts followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the estate, to mislead with pen, and with words, and with images, and with the shameful iniquity of their lies.

But, Hey! Who’s complaining? at least they’re the Liberal™ Media.

JP Stormcrow

[cross-posted at Mostly Harmless]

12 responses to “Teh Media is Da Bomb!

  1. I’m shocked this place isn’t called ignis pallidus. Shocked.

    [I have no idea if “pallidus” is properly declined. Still, I’m pretty sure etiquette demands that the inaugural comment on any blog be utterly OT, left field, by-the-by, and WTF. To this statement you may not subscribe, but, for better or worse, it is this commenter (with that carrousel inside an outside my head) who has the last first word.]

  2. I’m shocked this place isn’t called ignis pallidus. Shocked.

    Hmmm, yes, that would work too. And it might be used sometime in the future. As this place started as Not a Nuclear Test with a whole different look, it is clear that it is not immutable.

    Picked up ignis fatuus up during a thread at MBs. I wanted a phrase from Shakespeare that would satisfy both the GNF (or a foolish shadow of it, at least) and the line where Shade finds the name for the poem. I was surprised/gratified to find what I did.

    And I think the rule for an author’s response to first comments is that it be pedantic and self-indulgent.

  3. And I think the rule for an author’s response to first comments is that it be pedantic and self-indulgent.

    Very well, be that way. But I must then, for form’s sake, immediately take you to task for unforgivably failing to blog about my current idée fixe.

  4. Hey JP!
    Just checking in to be the gratuitous second commenter on your blog. It’s a sweet spot to be in because it has none of the pressures that come with being the first commenter. (The Minister of Justice has enough pressure as it is, so I left it to my Supreme Attaché).

    Being commenter #2, I don’t have to be embarrassed about asking what ignis pallidus is. My Google , Wiki, and dictionary searches have been insufficient. I think it has something to do with color, but the direct translation may have nothing to do with its usage in that phrase.

    Your adopted MOOAD hound looks adorable on your page here. Are you able to you add a link to Adrian’s MOOAD Hound post to it? By the way, MOOAD hound adoption is going to be an early priority on the new WAAGNFNP blog. Fun!

    (No preview function, so we’ll see if the accent over the “e” in “Attache” took or not).

  5. Ignis pallidus would ~ be Pale Fire, to which I have made many allusions to, here & over at MBs

    Yes, not through building this, need to add some more links.

    Just discovered the NO Preview though, damn – really, really do not like that. I just assumed it would be there.

  6. Thanks for the Pale Fire answer, JP.
    Forgive me if I’m not caught up on everybody’s allusions. That particular one, if you’ve made it on several occaions, may have slipped by my radar as a “pass” if it was buried in some of the more lengthy polemics that I wasn’t interested in enough to plow through.

    Preview function: I believe that “plug in” is beyond the free WordPress abilities, which is why we have to cough up some moolah if we want to have a proper site for the WAAGNFNP.

  7. Crap – forgot to change my homepage link.
    This should do it.

  8. may have slipped by my radar as a “pass” if it was buried in some of the more lengthy polemics that I wasn’t interested in enough to plow through.

    Also, I have not exactly gone out of the way to telegraph many of them.
    For instance:
    There is a very loud amusement park right in front of my present lodgings.
    from my “Paler Shade of Fire” post(s) is taken from early in the commentary that surrounds the poem in Pale Fire. In the book, the non-sequitur lets the reader know that things ain’t what they seem.

    On wordpress limitations. Yes, I built this while trying to find adequate free blogs, ths one came up short (as did all the free hosted ones), but I did like more tags etc than blogger, but the no preview is a real bummer.

  9. There is a very loud amusement park right in front of my present lodgings

    Thank you for explaining that one. I was afraid to ask for fear I was the only one who didn’t get it.

  10. Oh hey, lookit that! My little avatar appeared!
    I uploaded it from my practice WordPress site, but thought it wasn’t working or I didn’t do it right. But there she is!

  11. Hi dad, you’re embarassing me again. It’s not as bad as that one time in third grade open house when we were waiting to enter Mr. Z’s room, and you stood there chanting, “Heliopolis versus centurions! Heliopolis versus centurions!” It’s cutting it pretty close, though.

    I hope my use of words with under five syllabyls and my failure to link something every fifteen characters doesn’t undermine your insanely high street cred.

  12. Hi dad, you’re embarassing me again

    Well beth, if that is your real name, I am not your father, but rather just a pseudonymous guy that sounds like him.

    And besides the insanely high street cred that comes from a blog with this readership profile is what will pay for your college education.

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