[Update 2/21: Any question as to why I included “Dean” Broder in this parade of the wankers, can be dispelled by reading Glenn Greenwald’s two excellent recent posts on Broder and his role in propping up the administration. Here and especially here.]
Watching the piteous national political media at play in so many different fields of the Lord this past week (bloggers, planes, leaks, and my fave: Gosh, there was corruption early in the occupation of Iraq! Why weren’t we told?) brought to mind a somewhat tangential (but apocalyptic!) diary I had posted at DailyKos a few months back.
The Four Postmen of the Apocalypse
First, after Grantland Rice ( the “Dean of American Sportswriters”, back when being the Dean meant having a clue.)
Outlined against the troubles of a nation, the Four Writers wrote again. In Internet lore they are known as arrogance, pomposity, cluelessness and idiocy. These are only aliases. Their real names are: Broder, Woodward, Howell and Hiatt. They formed the crest of the cyclone before which the reputation of the Washington Post was swept over the precipice these past ten years as a million readers peered at the bewildering panorama spread out on their breakfast tables and computer screens.
And thence on to more Ancient Sources
9. [Broder] And I saw when the rabid lamb opened one of the links, and I heard, as it were the sound of wankery, one of the four courtiers saying, Come and read.
10. And I read, and beheld two fatuous quotes: and he that spoke them knew not his hypocrisy; and many spots on Sunday morning television were given unto him: and he went forth being arrogant, and to show all that he well and truly was a dick.
11.[Woodward] And when he had opened the second link, I heard the second courtier say, Come and read.
12. And there I read another work of stenography: and power was given to him that wrote therein to transcribe the thoughts of the mighty, and that they should flatter one another: and there was given unto him great riches for his efforts.
13.[Howell] And after she had someone help her open the third link, I heard the third courtier say, Come and read. And I read, and lo, she that wrote it had a pair of balances in her hand.
14. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four courtiers say, A measure of column space for a Democrat, and three measures of column space for a Republican; unless the news is bad and then the measures shall be reversed; and see that thou hurt not the status quo.
15.[Hiatt] And when he had opened the fourth link, I heard the voice of the fourth courtier say, Come and read.
16. And I read, and beheld a mass of distortions and lies: and his name that wrote it was Idiocy, and The wingnuts followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the estate, to mislead with pen, and with words, and with images, and with the shameful iniquity of their lies.
But, Hey! Who’s complaining? at least they’re the Liberal™ Media.